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The Daily Bonnet

Terrible Road Between Jantsied and Ditsied Allows Travellers to Experience the Life of a Pioneer

July 19, 2020 Andrew

MORRIS, MB Travellers along Highway 75 in southern Manitoba are being offered a marvelous new way to experience the life of a Mennonite pioneer. By simply driving from Steinbach to Altona via Morris, travellers are […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Karen Demands to Speak to Thrift Store Manager

July 18, 2020 Andrew

NEUBERGNORT, MB A local Karen is very upset over the “outrageous” prices at her Neubergnort Self Help and is demanding to speak to the manager right this minute or else she’s filing a complaint with […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dating Mennonite Couple Go Over to Grandma’s to Make Sure They’re Not Too Closely Related

July 17, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, SK Emily Wiebe, 20, and Patrick Penner, 19, have been dating since they first met in period 5 History a couple years ago. Now things are getting serious and they decided they better pay […]

Unger Suspicion

Rather than Actually Fix the Road, One of these Bright Orange Signs Should Do the Trick

July 16, 2020 Andrew

THOMPSON, MB It’s orange-sign season in Manitoba, as officials have sent workers all over the province to put up signs telling people where the potholes are. “Hey, you can’t say we didn’t warn you,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden Hockey Team to be Known as the “Not Winklers”

July 15, 2020 Andrew

NOT WINKLER, MB A Morden junior hockey team has decided to adopt a new nickname that was the most fitting and local name they could think possibly think of: The Not Winklers. “We scratched our […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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