10 Mennonite Satire Headlines Written by ChatGPT

So a couple days ago we had ChatGPT write headlines for Steinbach Online. Today we told it write some in the style of the Unger Review/Daily Bonnet. Unfortunately, these don’t seem any more amusing than their attempts at Steinbach Online. That being said, I’m not above ripping off a few of these.

  1. “Local Mennonite Farmer Discovers Secret to Growing Giant Shoofly Pies”
  2. “Breaking News: Town’s Entire Population Converts to Mennonitism after Trying Grandma’s Delicious Borscht”
  3. “Mennonite Couple Celebrates 50 Years of Marriage without Ever Agreeing on the Proper Way to Fold a Church Bulletin”
  4. “Mennonite Man Sets World Record for Longest Sunday Nap During Sermon”
  5. “Local Mennonite Church Installs ‘Hallelujah Button’ for Congregation Members Who Forgot the Words”
  6. “Amish Youth Sneakily Start Competitive Butter-Churning League: ‘Gut-Slapping Action Guaranteed'”
  7. “Mennonite Grandma Knits World’s Largest Cardigan; Plans to Wrap Entire Town in Cozy Warmth”
  8. “Mennonite Pastor Claims to Have Found Ancient Recipe for Holy Guacamole”
  9. “Amish Community Stunned as ‘Rumspringa’ Turns into a Full-Blown Dance Party”
  10. “Breaking News: Mennonite Woman Discovers theological Loophole to Count Potato Salad as a Serving of Vegetables”
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