Nation Shocked as Canadian NHL Team Wins Playoff Series Without Rioting


Tens of thousands of fans lined the streets of downtown Winnipeg on Friday night to celebrate the Jets first round playoff victory over the Minnesota Wild. Jets fans bucked decades of Canadian hockey tradition by not destroying any property, or stealing any big screen TVs.

“Never before in the history of Canadian sport have fans celebrated a team’s playoff success with so little theft or property damage,” said RCMP Constable Wallace. “I mean they didn’t even light any parked cars on fire. It was quite the sight to behold!”

After the Jets victory, Canadians from coast to coast turned to their television sets expecting to see downtown Winnipeg in flames, but all they saw were a bunch of people wearing white t-shirts and drinking lite beer.

“We did nab a few people who had a bit too much to drink, but that’s it,” said Wallace. “I couldn’t believe it. There were all these windows in all these buildings just waiting to be smashed…and not a single one was. Shocking!”

Canucks fans were so disturbed by the peaceful celebrations in Winnipeg that thousands of them roamed the streets of Vancouver breaking stuff and roughing up strangers just to show Winnipeg how it’s done.

(photo credit: Braydon M/CC)

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