Morden and Winkler Tired of Having to Share a Hospital


Mr. Penner of Winkler was mighty upset this week after he found out he had to share a hospital room with that Mr. Sawatzky from Morden.

“Ugh, a Mordener again. He’s probably in here having a vasectomy or something. Typical Mordener,” said Mr. Penner. “I don’t know why those Mordeners have to occupy all the hospital beds that rightfully belong to us Winklerites!”

Mr. Sawatzky, on the other hand, wished Mr. Penner would turn down the gospel music he blasts every morning.

“That man plays the Gaithers day in and day out,” said Mr. Sawatzky. “I mean doesn’t he have any Zeppelin on that playlist of his?”

The conflict became so heated that the hospital is considering creating separate wards for their Morden and Winkler patients.

“With Plum Coulee people in the middle,” said Dr. Rempel. “We’ve got to restore peace to the region somehow.”

Hospital food will be much heartier on the Winkler side, though Morden patients will get a glass of wine or stout beer with the meal.

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