Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis Trying to Figure Out When to Throw Out the Christmas Cards


It’s mid-January and that means Mrs. Brandt is beginning to think about taking down the Christmas cards from her refrigerator.

“I think it’s time, but then again, I feel kind of bad. We’ve got the Thiessens up there. The Hiebert sisters. Plus a few dozen cards from various Friesens,” said Mrs. Brandt. “It doesn’t feel right, but I’ve got to make room on the Frigidaire for upcoming report cards and stuff.”

Usually around this time of year, Mrs. Brandt starts to get antsy. It’s clearly not the Christmas season anymore, and yet the memories of Christmas are still fresh and the cards still have some meaning.

“First I take them all and put them on the island in the kitchen,” said Brandt. “Then after a few weeks, I put them in a shoebox. Then mid-April or so, my Henry puts them up in the attic. Eventually they make their way out to the bonfire in the backyard.”

Brandt says she sheds a tear with each step in the process.

“It’s like grieving,” said Brandt. “But I’ll do anything to avoid becoming like Mrs. Wiebe. She’s still got Christmas cards taped to her wall from the ’70s.”

In other news, Mr. Henry Brandt is in a deep existential crisis trying to decide when is the right time to remove the Christmas lights.

(photo credit: Aine/CC)

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