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holidays

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Puts Up Halloween Decorations for Thanksgiving

October 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Lois Unger, 41, of Steinbach was mesmerized by the wide array of seasonal decorations at her local Shoppers Drug Mart this week and plastered her house with her holiday-themed purchases. “Ahhh, I just […]

Unger Conviction

C & E Christian Skips E this Year

April 19, 2022 Andrew

AKRON, PA Proud C & E Christians Eleanor and Earl Lapp of Akron decided to skip E this year, thus reducing their status to C Christians. “When we first got married we were C, E, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn’t Run Out of Food at the Gathering

August 19, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Pankratz can count on a good solid six hours of sleep tonight after the family gathering that she’d been worrying about for months came and went without a single person starving to […]

Unger Suspicion

Groundhog Day Glitch Forces Local Couple to Live the Year 2020 Over and Over Again

February 2, 2021 Andrew

NEWTON, KS A peculiar glitch in the space time continuum has forced the Warkentins of Newton, Kansas to live the year 2020 over and over again for the rest of eternity. “The first couple weeks […]

The Daily Bonnet

Senator Gets Lost on the Way to Landmark, Manitoba

January 8, 2021 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB On his way to Landmark, Manitoba during the holidays, Canadian Senator Don Plett got totally disoriented and somehow wound up in a beautiful Mexican resort instead. “Diewel, these roads are confusing,” said Plett. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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