Unger Conviction
C & E Christian Skips E this Year
AKRON, PA Proud C & E Christians Eleanor and Earl Lapp of Akron decided to skip E this year, thus reducing their status to C Christians. “When we first got married we were C, E, […]
holidays
Unger & Thirst
Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn’t Run Out of Food at the Gathering
WINKLER, MB Mrs. Pankratz can count on a good solid six hours of sleep tonight after the family gathering that she’d been worrying about for months came and went without a single person starving to […]
Unger Suspicion
Groundhog Day Glitch Forces Local Couple to Live the Year 2020 Over and Over Again
NEWTON, KS A peculiar glitch in the space time continuum has forced the Warkentins of Newton, Kansas to live the year 2020 over and over again for the rest of eternity. “The first couple weeks […]
The Daily Bonnet
Senator Gets Lost on the Way to Landmark, Manitoba
LANDMARK, MB On his way to Landmark, Manitoba during the holidays, Canadian Senator Don Plett got totally disoriented and somehow wound up in a beautiful Mexican resort instead. “Diewel, these roads are confusing,” said Plett. […]
The Daily Bonnet
‘Mennonite Heritage Week’ Comes and Goes Without a Single Mennonite Noticing
WATERLOO, ON The second annual Mennonite Heritage Week came and went this year without a single Mennonite in the entire country noticing. “Really? Mennonite Heritage Week? Was that this week?” wondered Mr. Zehr of Waterloo. […]