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Unger Conviction

C & E Christian Skips E this Year

April 19, 2022 Andrew

AKRON, PA Proud C & E Christians Eleanor and Earl Lapp of Akron decided to skip E this year, thus reducing their status to C Christians. “When we first got married we were C, E, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn’t Run Out of Food at the Gathering

August 19, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Pankratz can count on a good solid six hours of sleep tonight after the family gathering that she’d been worrying about for months came and went without a single person starving to […]

Unger Suspicion

Groundhog Day Glitch Forces Local Couple to Live the Year 2020 Over and Over Again

February 2, 2021 Andrew

NEWTON, KS A peculiar glitch in the space time continuum has forced the Warkentins of Newton, Kansas to live the year 2020 over and over again for the rest of eternity. “The first couple weeks […]

The Daily Bonnet

Senator Gets Lost on the Way to Landmark, Manitoba

January 8, 2021 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB On his way to Landmark, Manitoba during the holidays, Canadian Senator Don Plett got totally disoriented and somehow wound up in a beautiful Mexican resort instead. “Diewel, these roads are confusing,” said Plett. […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite Heritage Week’ Comes and Goes Without a Single Mennonite Noticing

September 18, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The second annual Mennonite Heritage Week came and went this year without a single Mennonite in the entire country noticing. “Really? Mennonite Heritage Week? Was that this week?” wondered Mr. Zehr of Waterloo. […]

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    April 4, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet
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  • Mennonites Being Extra Careful These Days
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  • Trump Announces Huge Punishing Tariff on Common Sense and Decency
    March 2, 2018
  • With Toilet Paper in Short Supply, Mennonites Resort to Eaton’s Catalogues Once Again
    April 2, 2020

SATIRE BY ANDREW UNGER, AUTHOR OF THE DAILY BONNET

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