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vaccine

The Daily Bonnet

Assiniboine Zoo Now Has Higher Vaccination Rate than Southern Manitoba

March 11, 2022 Andrew

RM of STANLEY, MB After vaccinating dozens of animals against Covid-19 this week, the Assiniboine Zoo in Winnipeg officially has a higher vaccination rate than the RM of Stanley near Winkler. “Ahh, nice, looks like […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Hesitant to Get Vaccine after Learning He’ll Have to Start Attending Church Again

June 12, 2021 Andrew

REINLAND, MB The true source of southern Manitoba vaccine hesitancy has finally been discovered. A new survey indicates that fear of having to go to church again is causing a lot of folks in the […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Free Vaccine’ Causes Quite the Quandary for Mennonite Man

May 22, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Timmy Wiens of Winkler took a break from knacking zoat in front of the Co-op this weekend after learning the provincial government was going to be offering vaccines for everyone in the province. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fully Vaccinated Mennonites Can Remove their Bonnets in Public

May 14, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In a press conference at the White House today President Joe Biden announced that starting next week fully-vaccinated Mennonites will be allowed to remove their bonnets in all public places. “And the men […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers Excited to Have “Shots at the Legion”

May 13, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since it was announced that the old Legion Building on Elm would be the spot of a new vaccine supersite, Steinbachers have been eager to book their time to go for shots […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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