Matt Rempe Insists He’s Not a Rempel


The heroics of young New York Rangers centre Matt Rempe this weekend had folks, especially Mennonites, scratching their heads in puzzlement.

“When I saw that in the Free Press, I thought for sure it was a typo,” said radio host and Elvis tribute artist Corny Rempel. “You’re missing an L there, young man.”

But the folks at the Free Press, and all other news sources, claimed that this was the spelling they were given by Matt Rempe himself.

“Never in all my wildest dreams did I think I’d ever see a Rempe,” said Rempel. “I guess the L was excommunicated in the Great Purge of 1968.”

The spelling is so concerning that Corny Rempel has initiated a fundraiser.

“If it’s a money thing,” said Rempel, “we’ve got your back. I’m sure a good GoFundMe campaign can pay for an extra L.”

Meanwhile, the New Jersey Devils say they don’t care what Rempe calls himself, just so long as he doesn’t score on them again.

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