Altona Votes to Adopt Knackzoat as Legal Tender


A referendum held in the southern Manitoba town of Altona this week resulted in a 92% vote in favour of adopting knackzoat as legal tender.

“Currently we’ve set the exchange rate at one fistful of zoat to the dollar,” said Altona mayor Elbert Froese. “I think this new zoat system is going to make business transactions around town a lot more efficient.”

Excited about the change, Altona’s retailers are already converting their cash registers to store zoat.

“We got rid of the penny a few years back,” said Co-op manager Timmy Plett. “I think that empty spot makes the perfect place to put the zoat.”

Altona residents have been warned that only fresh knackzoat is acceptable currency.

“We’re not accepting used shells,” said Froese, “but as long as you haven’t sucked off the seasoning or cracked the shell, you should be good to go.”

At press time, Mr. Ginter was in the act of purchasing a Brand new John Deere in exchange for a pickup bed full of low sodium Ronnie’s.

(photo credit: Blondinrikard Fröberg/CC)

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