TORONTO, ON
Residents of the Greater Toronto Area are bracing themselves for what meteorologists are calling the “largest accumulation of snow since Rob Ford was around.”
“Oh, geez, that’s a lot of snow,” said Mississauga resident Darren Kroeker. “Better lock the doors and stay inside if we’re going to have that kind of snow.”
Kroeker says at times like these he likes to bundle up and wear a scarf around his face, which he says goes a long way to protecting him from snow.
“Last thing I want to do is ingest too much snow,” said Kroeker. “I was a young man in the 1980s, so I know what too much snow can do for you.”
The forecast is so bleak that Toronto residents have been told not to go into work tomorrow.
“You can never be too cautious when you’ve got Rob Ford-levels of snow sitting around outside,” said Mr. Kroeker. “You don’t want that snow to get into the wrong hands.”
Authorities later clarified that it wasn’t so much the snow they were worried about, as the cracks it might cause in the sidewalks this spring.
