Choking Mennonite Man Saved by the Heinrichs Maneuver


Local man, Mr. Wiebe fe’schuckled himself on a watermelon seed at the church picnic this weekend, but thanks to some quick thinking by one of the Heinrichs boys, he was saved.

“I don’t consider myself a hero,” said young Peter Heinrichs. “I did what anyone would do. When I saw that he’d fe’schlucked himself, I reached around him from behind and gave Mr. Wiebe a good solid thrust.”

Peter Heinrichs had apparently seen the maneuver on television once and figured he’d try it out, with a bit of a twist.

“I do it a little differently,” said Heinrichs. “You’ve gotta get right under that schmaunt fat belly and really dig in there with your fists. I’m not sure the regular maneuver works on a well-aged Mennonite man.”

The Heinrichs Maneuver will be taught in schools and First Aid courses throughout Mennonite country.

“We’ll be giving lessons behind the barn next Saturday night,” said Peter Heinrichs. “The lessons are free, but BYOB, please!”

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