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Unger the Influence

Morden to Probe Alleged Winkler Election Interference

March 7, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB New evidence suggests Winklerites were trying to influence the voting at the Miss Morden Corn and Apple Festival pageant last year. This finding greatly concerns Morden’s Corn and Apple committee who are going […]

Unger & Thirst

Experts Now Say Schmaunt Fat Leaked from Lab in Winkler

March 6, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Experts are now saying the explosion of delicious schmaunt fat over the last few years did not arrive naturally but likely originated from a top secret laboratory in Mrs. Froese’s summer kitchen. “Oba, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Bans TikTok From All Devices … But Only the Dancing Videos

March 3, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB The Southern La Crete MEMMCBM church has decided the risk of youth watching dance videos is too great and thus TikTok must be banned. “But we’re not killjoys or something. The dancing […]

Unger Games

Spy Balloon Drops Bogus Penalty Flag Onto Field During Dying Minutes of Super Bowl

February 13, 2023 Andrew

GLENDALE, AZ With less than two minutes to go in Super Bowl LVII, an inexplicable penalty flag mysteriously appeared on the field, leaving officials wondering what to do. “Hey, Harold, where’d that flag come from?” […]

Unger Suspicion

Winkler Spy Balloon Shot Down Above Morden

February 4, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB A couple of slingshots and some good aim were all it took to down a massive spy balloon from Winkler that was hovering in the skies of neighbouring Morden for the past few […]

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