Custodian at Local Senior’s Home Can’t Get the Smell of Roll Kuchen Out of the Hallway


The hallways at Menno Garden Manor still smell strongly of cooking oil after half a dozen women all decided to fry up some roll kuchen on the very same day. Mr. Pankratz, a retired shekjbenjel and resident fix-it-man, has been trying to remove the smell all week, but to no avail.

“I’ve gone door-to-door and pleaded with every Loewen or Dueck in the place to open up their windows and let things air out a little,” explained Pankratz. “But it still smells like roll kuchen!”

Pankratz says the whole thing started with Mrs. Wiebe who fried up a batch for the weekly Wiebe Family Roll Kuchen Frenzy, but eventually five other ladies decided to get in on the festivities.

“They were hauling out pots and dumping in oil like it was going out of style,” said Pankratz. “You should see all the watermelon rinds they’ve got stacked up in the elevator.”

Pankratz says he may have to resort to extreme measures.

“The only way I can think of to mask the smell would be to douse all the residents in Rogers Golden Syrup as they enter the building,” said Pankratz, who is already rigging up a contraption to do just that. “If this doesn’t work, I’m moving out!”

Pankratz says he’s already repainted some of the walls and may consider re-shingling the roof if there’s enough money left in the maintenance fund after last year’s disastrous goat yoga party in the common room.

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