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roll kuchen

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Mennonites Demand Roll Kuchen at New Krispy Kreme Store

January 17, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The excitement is palpable in Winnipeg for the new Krispy Kreme store. One demographic will not be satisfied, however, until a few changes are made. “We can get a donut anywhere,” said Art […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Gives Up Rogers Golden Syrup During Dry January

January 12, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After pressure from his wife Annie to make a few changes, Mr. Herman Groening, 71, of Winkler has decided to abstain from Rogers Golden Syrup for the entire month of January. “I heard […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Travellers Required to Dispose of Roll Kuchen Before Boarding

July 27, 2022 Andrew

LANGHAM, SK The security line at the Langham International Airport was around the block this weekend after the federal government passed a new law requiring all Mennonites to dispose of their roll kuchen and syrup […]

Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Fills Water Tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup

September 27, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Just in the time for the last roll kuchen weekend of the season, the city of Steinbach has filled the water tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup. “Oba, I’m looking forward to my weekly […]

Unger & Thirst

Canada-Wide Rogers Golden Syrup Outage Stretches on for Hours

April 19, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites across the country were without Rogers Golden Syrup for more than five hours on Monday. “It’s a good thing it’s not a weekend when demand for Rogers Golden Syrup peaks,” said Doris […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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