The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Games

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Being Extra Careful These Days

March 13, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Abbotsford Men’s Crokinole League is taking extra precautions these days and has implemented a league-wide policy requiring knipsers to wrap their knipsing fingers in plastic bags. “We are taking every measure to […]

Unger Games

XFL to Play in Front of Empty Stadiums Just Like Normal

March 12, 2020 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA It’s business as usual for the only sports league left playing these days, the XFL. As per usual, the league will play in near empty 60,000 seat stadiums for the remainder of the […]

Unger Conviction

Emergency Backup Preacher Fills In for Injured Senior Pastor

February 25, 2020 Andrew

LINDEN, AB After Senior Pastor Bob went down with mono just minutes before the start of the 10:30 service, the congregation at South Linden Mennonite was scrambling for a replacement. With the associate pastor pre-occupied […]

Unger Games

Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets

February 17, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB By the time the first period was over, the Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team were already up eight nothing on the slumping Winnipeg Jets. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Jets defensemen Neal […]

Unger Games

Modestly Attired Mennonite Women to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 6, 2020 Andrew

TAMPA, FL After millions of Mennonites turned off their television sets (if they had them) and washed their eyes out with soap at this year’s Super Bowl, the NFL has announced that a choir of […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 38 39 40 … 61 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • ‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars
    February 23, 2020
  • Top 10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Mennonites
    December 16, 2022
  • Local Mennonite Church Becomes First Ever to Make it All the Way Through ‘Der Friedensfürst’ Without Messing Up
    December 22, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Self-Isolates After Visit to Jantsied
    March 17, 2020
  • A Glossary of Pennsylvania Dutch Profanity
    November 22, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved