Mennonite Woman Permanently Stuck in Downward Dog


Local woman and novice yoga practitioner Sarah Martens, 31, was unable to get herself out of the downward dog position at class last week. After an hour of trying to maneuver herself into a normal position, Martens gave up and decided to just live the rest of her life in downward dog.

“Ugh, I know they always say don’t eat platz before doing yoga,” said Martens. “I guess I should have taken those warnings more seriously.”

Martens’ new life in downward dog has caused her some difficulty in operating a motor vehicle, but she says it’s actually been a benefit for leading worship on Sundays.

“I’ve never heard such wonderful 4-part harmony,” said Martens. “I was able to reach notes I didn’t know were possible. Plus, everyone’s much more attentive than they were before.”

Martens also teaches Sunday School and says, despite some mild teasing at first, the kids were perfect angels.

“They all understand my condition,” said Martens. “Mennonite children are remarkable well-behaved.”

The children were especially excited to cover her in blankets and use Miss Martens as a tent. While she has been able to stay on as a Sunday School teacher, it’s not yet known if she’ll be able to continue as ladies faspa co-ordinator.

(photo credit: Sarah Siblik/CC)

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