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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Senate Approves $1 Trillion Infrastructure Bill to Pave Church Parking Lots

August 14, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The United States senate has just approved a massive one trillion dollar infrastructure bill that will be allocated to address the country’s most pressing need: church parking lots. “When we look at the […]

Unger Suspicion

Brian Pallister to Manitobans: “You Can’t Fire Me; I Quit!”

August 10, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After sinking to a historic low in the approval ratings, Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister tossed over his desk this morning in a huff and could be heard yelling “you can’t fire me; I […]

Unger Suspicion

Local MP Comes Out as Flat Earther

August 9, 2021 Andrew

STEINKOPP, MB After months of speculation where he refused to say one way or another, Steinkopp MP Bed Sulk has put the speculation to rest and come out as a staunch anti-round Earther. “I’m always […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Who Believes Any Stupid Crap He Reads Online Thinks You’re the One Who’s a Sheep

August 8, 2021 Andrew

DOMMHEIT, AB Local man Mr. Kooltje, 43, who gets all his information from memes and YouTube videos, believes that those who don’t believe stupid crap they find online are “sheep.” “They’re just obeying whatever the […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man to Play Just One More Game of Tetris

August 5, 2021 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Local man Earl Bergmann, 47, of Omaha has been playing “just one more game of Tetris” since he got that Nintendo Entertainment System during Christmas 1989. “Just one more game, Mom, just one […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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