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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Man Shocked to Discover He Already Lives in a ’15-Minute City’

August 22, 2023 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK For several months since he watched a scary YouTube video, area man Mr. Toews has been “very concerned” about the rise of something called ’15-minute cities’, only to discover that as resident […]

Unger the Influence

Vice President Peters? Mennonites Shocked to Discover Joe Biden Using a Mennonite Pseudonym

August 21, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer is demanding to see the unredacted document that link then Vice President Joe Biden to various Mennonite pseudonyms, including Robert Peters, I.P. Fast, and Ona Bender. “We […]

Unger the Influence

Canadian Mennonites Blocked from Sharing Gossip on Facebook

August 16, 2023 Andrew

VINELAND, ON Facebook’s hardline stance against Canada’s controversial Bill C-18 has led to the blocking of Canadian news from a variety of sources including, but not limited to, Mrs. Ruth Kehler of Vineland, Ontario. “Did […]

Unger the Influence

CBC Publishes Fake News in Order to Skirt Facebook Block

August 10, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON CBC News has hired Mennonite satirist Andrew Unger to “churn out a bunch of fake satirical news stories” in order to get around Facebook’s blockage of Canadian news sites. “Make up whatever you […]

Unger the Influence

Protestors Excited that Trudeau is Finally Single

August 2, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON For a few years now, thousands of Justin Trudeau’s most passionate admirers have taken to the streets with signs that, albeit rather crass, nevertheless have expressed their undying love for the Prime Minister. […]

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