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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Manitoba Plans to Have 2 Million Friesens By the Year 2030

September 18, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Conservative leader Heather Stefanson has laid out her aggressive plan to increase Manitoba’s population to 2 million people by the year 2030 using the province’s most efficient reproduction machine: Friesens. “Really, I’m just […]

The Daily Bonnet

Federal Liberals Enlist the Amish to Address Housing Crisis

August 23, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Fresh from high level cabinet meetings, the federal Liberal party has come up with a brand new plan to address the nation’s housing crisis–hire the Amish. “I’m sure they can raise a few […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Man Shocked to Discover He Already Lives in a ’15-Minute City’

August 22, 2023 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK For several months since he watched a scary YouTube video, area man Mr. Toews has been “very concerned” about the rise of something called ’15-minute cities’, only to discover that as resident […]

Unger the Influence

Vice President Peters? Mennonites Shocked to Discover Joe Biden Using a Mennonite Pseudonym

August 21, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer is demanding to see the unredacted document that link then Vice President Joe Biden to various Mennonite pseudonyms, including Robert Peters, I.P. Fast, and Ona Bender. “We […]

Unger the Influence

Canadian Mennonites Blocked from Sharing Gossip on Facebook

August 16, 2023 Andrew

VINELAND, ON Facebook’s hardline stance against Canada’s controversial Bill C-18 has led to the blocking of Canadian news from a variety of sources including, but not limited to, Mrs. Ruth Kehler of Vineland, Ontario. “Did […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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