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Unger the Influence

Unger Suspicion

“Fearless” Man Refuses to Wear a Mask But Absolutely Petrified to Enter a Grocery Store Without His Gun

August 25, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Janzen, 41, of Seminole, laughs every time he sees those “sheeple” wearing their silly masks all over the place. Janzen is a very brave man who trusts only in the Lord and […]

Unger & Thirst

Trudeau Hires Mennonites to Administer New $900 Million Roll Kuchen Grant Program

August 19, 2020 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB The Trudeau government has just announced a plan to have a few Mennonites from Plum Coulee administer a new $900 million grant program that will provide roll kuchen and syrup to eligible […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Bares More than Just Arms at St. Malo

August 7, 2020 Andrew

ST. MALO, MB Mr. Fehr, 62, of Kleefeld decided the family needed a nice afternoon at the beach, so he filled the trunk with zoat and headed off for St. Malo beach. “Oba, but when […]

Unger Suspicion

Quebec Requires All Residents to Wear Head Coverings

July 20, 2020 Andrew

QUEBEC CITY, QC After an outbreak of “uncontrolled sassiness,” the government of Quebec is trying to reign things in and is requiring all residents to humble themselves and wear traditional religious head coverings of some […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Crowd Limits Still Not Big Enough to Accommodate the Klassens

May 20, 2020 Andrew

GRETNA, MB After very few new cases in the past week, the Manitoba government has decided to ease the limits on public gatherings. Starting Friday, Manitobans, other than the fertile Klassen family, will be allowed […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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