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Unger the Influence

The Daily Bonnet

Editorial: Should Steinbach Separate From Canada?

June 30, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB I’ve taken a break from scrolling Tinder while my wife is at Superstore to talk to you about values. Yes, values. I mean the traditional Mennonite values of free-market ‘every man for himself’ capitalism, […]

Unger Suspicion

Hardworking Family of Russian Mennonites Offers to Replace UK in the European Union

June 23, 2016 Andrew

LONDON, UK Today is a historic day as British voters will decide whether or not the United Kingdom will remain part of the European Union. Polls suggest the vote will be tight and, in the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach City Council Approves Plan to Move Entire Population to Mennonite Heritage Village

May 17, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Disregarding months of public consultation that suggested residents preferred to stay in the 21st century, council members of Manitoba’s third largest city voted Tuesday to move the entire population to the local pioneer […]

Unger Suspicion

Bernie Sanders’s Mittens Sworn in as President of the United States

May 2, 2016 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A pair of delightful mittens worn by Bernie Sanders were sworn in as President of the United States earlier today. “I’m going to be a President for all Americans, not just those with […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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