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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

“Den of Iniquity” Filled with Cool Nice People Drinking Beers and Appreciating Art

December 16, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The opening of Steinbach’s first ever “den of iniquity” this week drew quite the crowd of pleasant folks sipping craft beer and appreciating art at The Public Brewhouse and Gallery on Main Street. […]

Unger & Thirst

Neufeld Downs Entire Grey Cup Filled with Komst Borscht

December 13, 2021 Andrew

HAMILTON, ON All-star offensive lineman Patrick Neufeld of the Grey-Cup winning Winnipeg Blue Bombers became the first player in CFL history to fill the cup with oma’s delicious komscht borscht. “It was either that or […]

Unger & Thirst

Tim Hortons Collabs with Mr. Wiebe to Offer New Line of Mennonite Products

December 11, 2021 Andrew

OAKVILLE, ON Justin Wiebe, 23, of London, Ontario has just signed a lucrative $8,000,000 contract to design Mennonite-inspired Timbits and other products for Timmies locations across Canada. “They approached me in the MB lot after […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family Gets Costco Membership Just for All the Free Samples

December 10, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The Wiebe family of Taber, Alberta love to drive into Calgary on Saturdays to do their weekly Costco sampling. “We don’t buy anything, but we’ve got to get our membership fee back somehow,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Supply Chain Crisis Now Threatening Papsi and Ravels

December 6, 2021 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB The supply chain crisis is now causing a considerable backlog in the Papsi and Ravel supply, such that residents of the small Mennonite town of Kleefeld have resorted to eating dilly bars with […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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