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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Area Man Mistakes Freedom Convoy for Timmies Line

January 27, 2022 Andrew

THUNDER BAY, ON Local man Dan Friesen, 51, was heading out for his daily double-double and chocolate cream glazed, when he entered what he thought was just the regular Timmies line. “I thought nothing of […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Supermarket Starts Selling Liquor to Convince Mennonites to Cover Their Faces

January 20, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Earlier this week Winkler’s favourite grocery store Seea Goot Mart added vodka and rum to store shelves in an effort to convince locals to cover their faces like they’re supposed to. “I guess […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Guesses Wordle in First Try

January 19, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Andrea Broesky, 59, of Leamington is known as an “early adopter” in Mennonite circles. She was the first one in Leamington to get a television (1985), VCR (1998), cell phone (2014), and now […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Orders Every Liquid on the Menu

January 17, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local woman Diane Schmidt, 66, of Calgary was at her neighbourhood Humpty’s on Sunday morning for what she thought was a simple cup of coffee but instead became the most impressive marathon of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Excited as Masks are Finally Being Handed Out at the Liquor Store

January 14, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba were elated at the announcement that masks would be made available at liquor stores throughout the province. “I’ve got to be protected…” said Mr. Buhler of Winkler, “against the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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