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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Drives 20 Minutes to Another Restaurant to Avoid 5 Minute Wait at the First One

August 20, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Wiebes of Warman were really looking forward to an authentic southern BBQ experience at the Smokey Sausage Diner in Saskatoon this weekend. However, it was not meant to be, as the Wiebes […]

Unger & Thirst

7-11 Introduces New ‘Mennonite Slurpee’

August 16, 2022 Andrew

ROSENGART, MB The yerba mate will be flowing like frozen Papsi this summer, as more than a dozen 7-11 stores in the Pembina Valley darpa will be offering a new product known as the ‘Mennonite […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Pours Bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Just to Drink the Milk Afterwards

August 13, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Area woman Erin Heinrichs, 41, poured herself a nice bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch this morning and quickly wolfed down the cereal so she could get to that delicious milk left afterwards. “Ahh, […]

Unger & Thirst

Biblical Literalist Accidentally Eats Shellfish

August 5, 2022 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Area man James Dyck, who normally prides himself in his undying commitment to his own inerrant interpretation of Scripture, found himself in quite the pickle this afternoon at the local Red Lobster. “It […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Banished From Town After Choosing the Sweet Pickles

August 1, 2022 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Area man Todd Sawatzky has lost the respect of everyone in all of Tofield this week after he piled his plate with bread and butter pickles instead of the good ones. “Waut de […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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