The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Sells Margarine Container to Elon Musk for $44 Billion

April 29, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After months of heated negotiation, Mrs. Eleanor Brandt of Fresno just sold her top margarine container to investor Elon Musk for a record $44 billion. “He took it no questions asked,” said Mrs […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Plans to Totally Fe’schlucke Herself Friday Night

April 28, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Alice Braun has been anticipating the ‘Mennonites Laughing’ event at McNally Robinson on Friday night and is already fe’schlucking herself in preparation. “Andrew Unger? Armin Wiebe? Even Corny Rempel yet?” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Faint Line Indicates Presence of Knackzoat in the Blood

April 24, 2022 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK Mr. Derek Wiebe of Waldheim, Saskatchewan is just one in a long line of local residents who’ve tested positive for knackzoat in recent weeks. “I waited the full 15 minutes and it was […]

Unger & Thirst

Rhubarb Sauce Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Perogies

April 22, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Art Wiens, 59, was shocked to discover a dollop of what appeared to be rhubarb sauce on his vereniki this week. “Diewel, Dietschlaund, Schinda! I’m not sure where this rhubarb sauce […]

Unger & Thirst

Hundreds of Horrified Mennonites Served ‘Pasta’ for Easter Sunday after Kitchen Mixup

April 17, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Hundreds of Groenings, Kliewers, and Olferts were looking forward to a delicious serving of lemony buns with sweet icing this Sunday afternoon. However, a mishap in the kitchen resulted in the serving […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 48 49 50 … 138 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Jets Already Down Three Games to None after Opening Faceoff
    May 19, 2021
  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith
    April 3, 2022
  • McDonalds to Offer All-Day Faspa
    February 7, 2017
  • New Abbotsford AHL Team to Be Named the Knackzoats
    June 30, 2021
  • Green Party Photoshops Yerba Mate into Elizabeth May’s Hand
    October 7, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved