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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage

July 12, 2022 Andrew

YARROW, BC Timmy Wiebe of Reinland, Manitoba ventured out to Abbotsford this week and quickly became the first Manitoban ever to dare to try BC farmer sausage. “BC farmer sausage? It doesn’t give such,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Church Picnic Offers Delightful Array of Vegetarian Options

July 9, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Vegetarians at South Winkler Memorial Evangelical Mennonite Bible Church were left with a delectable array of options at the church picnic this week, which included either white or even brown buns. “We’ve got […]

Unger & Thirst

Toews Fills Stanley Cup with Delicious Somma Borscht

June 29, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The ladies from the Abbotsford auxiliary borscht committee were working late into the night yesterday to pick out all the little bits of sorrel and beet greens that had become lodged in the […]

Unger & Thirst

Millennials Completely Priced Out of Avocado Toast Market

June 24, 2022 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Soaring avocado prices coupled with high interest rates have priced many millennials in the Kitchener Waterloo area right out of the avocado toast market. “We were looking at a 30-year mortgage just for […]

Unger & Thirst

Hungover Mennonite Woman Insists “It’s Only Covid”

June 22, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Eleanor Driedger, 61, of Saskatoon had a little too much to drink at the lady’s Bible study and wine event last night, but refused to admit she’d come down with a hangover this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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