Toews Fills Stanley Cup with Delicious Somma Borscht


The ladies from the Abbotsford auxiliary borscht committee were working late into the night yesterday to pick out all the little bits of sorrel and beet greens that had become lodged in the Stanley Cup after Colorado Avalanche defensemen Devon Toews took it over to his oma’s house for a bowl of delicious somma borscht.

“We usually use disposable styrofoam plates and plastic forks at faspa,” said committee leader Mrs. Penner, “but this was special. I can now say with confidence, that borscht truly does tastes better from the Stanley Cup.”

Although it has yet to be scientifically analyzed, it’s believed that years of sweat, champagne and metal polish add subtle nuances to the soup that the traditional Mennonite recipe simply lacks.

“I’m not sure what it is exactly, but, dang, that was some good somma borscht,” said Toews. “I bet even Jonathan Toews hasn’t had somma borscht like this!”

According to sources, the cup was also used at a local church faspa to hold a delightful array of cheese curds and rolled up ham slices.

“That’s after they finished off all the plumi moos,” said our source. “Oh, and did I forget to mention the Sunday morning baptism?”

As a result of this week’s christening with borscht, NHL Commissioner Garry Bettman says the trophy will now and forevermore be known as the ‘Stanley Koop.’

(photo credit: YouTube)

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