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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Gets the Wrong Message from Her French Vanilla

March 10, 2023 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Things did not go as planned after Bethany Neufeld, 25, of Rosenort decided to be a little adventurous in her coffee order in Steinbach this morning. “Oh my jauma!” shouted Neufeld as she […]

Unger & Thirst

Experts Now Say Schmaunt Fat Leaked from Lab in Winkler

March 6, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Experts are now saying the explosion of delicious schmaunt fat over the last few years did not arrive naturally but likely originated from a top secret laboratory in Mrs. Froese’s summer kitchen. “Oba, […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s is Launching Farmer Sausage Big Mac Across Canada

March 2, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC After the roaring success of the new chicken-variation on a Big Mac, McDonald’s is now looking to combine even more unconventional meats  with their signature overly soft buns and their not-so-secret sauce. “The […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Knackzoat Bear’ Tells the Strange True Story of a Grizzly Hooked on Spitz

February 26, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites have been lined up outside the Altona Not-So-Famous Players Theatre this week to see Knackzoat Bear, a film loosely based on the true story of a Grizzly who consumed an entire bag […]

Unger & Thirst

Adventurous Steinbach Couple Discover Strange Exotic New Restaurant Called Burger King

February 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Unraus of Steinbach are known for being among the most adventurous eaters in town, having “tried scallops once,” and even dined at a non-chain restaurant on two or three occasions. “I guess you […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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