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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Stick Holding Debit Machine at Drivethru Falls Just Short of Actually Reaching Car

April 1, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The long rod that holds the debit machine was not quite long enough to reach Mrs. Plett’s car this afternoon, forcing the frustrated fast food lover to pull over and come inside to […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Co-op Named One of “World’s Greatest Places” by TIME Magazine

March 30, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB TIME magazine has just declared the Co-op in Winker as one of the top 100 “greatest places in the world.” “That’s just one more feather in our cap,” said Winkler mayor Henry Siemens. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Confuses Wendy’s Ketchup Cup for Communion

March 27, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Steve Wiens, 40, was very excited to pump his own ketchup at the local Wendy’s restaurant this week, especially given that it was Communion Sunday. “Oh look, communion cups!” proclaimed Wiens, […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Daring Mennonite Man Tries the Mild Spice

March 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Andre Unrau, 43, of Steinbach has entered the Guinness Book of Records this week after trying the mild spice at the new Chica’s Chicken in Steinbach. “No Mennonite has ever ventured beyond the […]

Unger & Thirst

Delicious Rhubarb Platz Found in Sarah Polley’s Oscar Gift Bag

March 13, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Although no one is quite sure how it got in there, cast and crew of the Oscar winning film Women Talking found a delicious tray of platz in each of their Oscar gift bags […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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