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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Delicious Rhubarb Platz Found in Sarah Polley’s Oscar Gift Bag

March 13, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Although no one is quite sure how it got in there, cast and crew of the Oscar winning film Women Talking found a delicious tray of platz in each of their Oscar gift bags […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Gets the Wrong Message from Her French Vanilla

March 10, 2023 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Things did not go as planned after Bethany Neufeld, 25, of Rosenort decided to be a little adventurous in her coffee order in Steinbach this morning. “Oh my jauma!” shouted Neufeld as she […]

Unger & Thirst

Experts Now Say Schmaunt Fat Leaked from Lab in Winkler

March 6, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Experts are now saying the explosion of delicious schmaunt fat over the last few years did not arrive naturally but likely originated from a top secret laboratory in Mrs. Froese’s summer kitchen. “Oba, […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s is Launching Farmer Sausage Big Mac Across Canada

March 2, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC After the roaring success of the new chicken-variation on a Big Mac, McDonald’s is now looking to combine even more unconventional meats  with their signature overly soft buns and their not-so-secret sauce. “The […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Knackzoat Bear’ Tells the Strange True Story of a Grizzly Hooked on Spitz

February 26, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites have been lined up outside the Altona Not-So-Famous Players Theatre this week to see Knackzoat Bear, a film loosely based on the true story of a Grizzly who consumed an entire bag […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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