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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Local Church Offers Pedicures During Foot Washing Service

October 8, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A large Calgary Mennonite church has decided to expand the procedure at this Sunday’s foot washing service to include free manis and pedis. The church elders made the decision to tweak the traditional […]

Unger Conviction

Distracted Texting Millennial Accidentally Walks Into Church

September 24, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC While most jurisdictions have enacted legislation to curb distracted driving, the problem of texting and walking still remains. The dangers of such a practice became all too real for area woman Alana Foster, […]

Unger Conviction

Why the Church Lobby is Even Better than Tinder!

September 20, 2017 Andrew

BY: MISS SAMANTHA YODER The dating game is tough these days. A lot of my girlfriends have resorted to going online to find a suitable partner, but I maintain that you can never beat your […]

Unger Conviction

90% of Heavy Metal Bands Fronted by Pastors’ Sons

September 10, 2017 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA A new study out of the University of Middle Harrisonburg reveals that the vast majority of heavy and/or death metal bands are fronted by the sons of pastors, frequently of the Mennonite or […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Deacon Arrested for Manspreading Across Entire Church Pew

August 24, 2017 Andrew

KIDRON, OH Mennonite deacon Delbert Nussbaum, 81, was taken into custody by Kidron Police this past Sunday after churchgoers complained that the elderly man had manspread across an entire pew during the morning’s service. “What […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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