The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Visitor to Mennonite Church Blinded By All the Blond Hair

November 3, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Winnipeg resident Angela Ricci, 28, was rushed to the hospital this past Sunday after being temporarily blinded by the overabundance of blond hair at Blumenhof Mennonite Church. “That volume of blond hair can […]

Unger Conviction

Martin Luther Costumes Flying Off the Shelves this Halloween

October 31, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB 500 years after the Protestant Reformation, Martin Luther has become the hottest costume this Halloween surpassing sales of Wonder Woman, Batman, and the entire cast of Game of Thrones. “Kids just seem to […]

Unger Conviction

Four-Part Harmony Slashed to Three After Recent Budget Cuts

October 25, 2017 Andrew

BUHLER, KS In response to recent budgetary pressures, the elder board at West Buhler Mennonite Church has decided to eliminate the tenor part from all songs sung on Sundays. “Times are tough. We had to […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Dies After Serving on One Too Many Church Committees

October 22, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local woman Mrs. Dorothy Shenk, 71, passed away this week after being asked to serve on yet another church committee. Before her untimely death by committee, Mrs. Shenk was happily serving on the […]

Unger Conviction

Who is the ‘Mennonite Pope’?

October 18, 2017 Andrew

Of course, in theory Mennonites believe that all members have equal right and access to interpret scripture and lead the church, which is why we’ve traditionally left the selection of elders and pastors up to […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 73 74 75 … 93 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Area Man’s Entire Job Consists of Deleting Stupid Irrelevant Emails
    June 10, 2024
  • Winnipeg Couple Divorce After Conflict Over Air Conditioner Temperature
    July 22, 2024
  • Patriotic Canadian to Disassemble All His Furniture and Replace the Screws with Robertsons
    February 4, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Launches New Streaming Service Called “Schputify”
    September 28, 2022
  • Harry and Meghan Spotted at Hutterite Colony
    January 25, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved