Mennonite Church Appoints Man to Lead Women’s Ministry


The Nominating Committee at the Schrakjlijch Mennonite Church has appointed Mr. Henry Klassen as the new head of the Women’s Ministry. Mr. Klassen previously served as Head Usher for the past 20 years, where he was able to “really get to know the women of this congregation.”

“After showing them to their seats for almost two decades, I’m in a prime position to lead the women of this church,” said Mr. Klassen. “I’m thankful to the Schrakjlijch church for giving me this opportunity.”

The Schrakljilch elder board briefly considered opening up the position to a woman, but after consultation of the scriptures decided to “play it safe” and put a man in charge.

“According to some tract I once read, the Bible says that women aren’t supposed to be in any of kind of leadership position whatsoever,” said Pastor Dave. “Personally, I’m a little leery of the fact we let the ladies label all the cabinets in the kitchen. I mean what if it says ‘Coffee Cups’ when really it’s ‘Stir Sticks’ or something.”

Klassen plans to make a few changes to the Women’s Ministry.

“Instead of quilting and bake sales and so on, we’re all going to gather at 7 am at the local coffee shop to sit around and complain about ‘teenagers these days,'” said Klassen. “Then we’re going to make awkward comments to the serving staff and talk really loud in Plautdietsch until sometime in the afternoon when they kick us out.”

The Schrakljilch Church is considered one of the more progressive churches in the area.

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