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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

‘Unger’s Bible Dictionary’ Not Nearly As Hilarious As Mennonite Man Was Hoping

October 13, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Assuming absolutely anything with the name Unger on it must be absolutely hilarious, local man Mr. Falk decided he’d pick up a copy of that Bible dictionary he’d seen kicking around. “I’ve been […]

Unger & Thirst

Old Dutch Releases New ‘Rapple Chaps’

October 12, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites across the Canadian prairies have been consuming significant quantities of Old Dutch chaps for decades. Among their favourite variety are the ridged chips that are good for dipping. Finally the snack has […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Endorses One of Her Ex-Boyfriends for President

October 9, 2020 Andrew

WEST READING, PA Perpetually heartbroken singer-songwriter Taylor Swift has weighed into the political realm this week and endorsed “a young man who broke my heart years ago” for President. “Although Dillon is not actually on […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Unfazed by Fly on Her Face the Entire Service

October 8, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Pastor Rebecca Engbrecht, 43, of North Saskatoon Mennonite Church preached through the entire Book of Lamentations this past Sunday without even noticing there was a fly on her forehead the entire time. “Wow, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation

October 7, 2020 Andrew

NUMIDIA, PA Minister Miller of West Side Numidia Mennonite Church has been excommunicating an errant couple every week for the past three years and just this Sunday he realized that he was the only one […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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