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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Epic Fail! MBer and GCer Make Feeble Attempt at Singing the Doxology Together

September 7, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The CMU semester seemed to be off to a good start as Breanna, an MBer, and Paul, a GCer, started dating after sitting six feet away from each other in their “Intro to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Naive Manitoba Man Tries to Send a Text from Out by Sandilands Somewhere

September 6, 2020 Andrew

SANDILANDS, MB Local man Tim Giesbrecht, 41, was at the annual Giesbrecht wiener roast and horseshoes tournament at the ranger station in the Sandilands forest when he hauled out his phone between shots and attempted […]

Unger Games

Saskatchewan Roughriders Claim Victory in 2020 Labour Day Classic

September 5, 2020 Andrew

REGINA, SK The Covid-canceled 2020 CFL season gave the Saskatchewan Roughriders the chance to go undefeated for the first time in franchise history, including a stunning defeat over the Blue Bombers in this year’s unplayed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Last Chance to Work on Your Farmer’s Tan this Weekend

September 4, 2020 Andrew

KENORA, ON Mennonites across the Canadian Prairies will be taken advantage of the long weekend to work on their farmer’s tans this weekend. It’s the last chance they have to do so until the cold […]

The Daily Bonnet

Canada’s Top Doc Encourages Mennonites to Wear Masks During Meddachschlop

September 3, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Canada’s top doctor is “strongly encouraging” Mennonites to wear medical-grade masks during meddachschlop, especially if you’re sharing a nap space with someone who isn’t a first or second cousin. “If this is your […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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