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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

American Universities to Shut Down and Be Replaced With Nothing But YouTube and Memes

August 28, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC American universities will be shuttering their doors this week as people flock to much more reliable sources of knowledge: random crap found on the Internet. Rather than being educated by qualified experts in […]

Unger Conviction

Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight

August 27, 2020 Andrew

TABER, AB Pastor Dave pulled up onto the lot this morning for his marriage counselling sessions with the Thiessens only to find that the entire lot was covered with mysterious black circles and the whole […]

Unger Conviction

Grandma Plett Discovers Bible iPhone App, Disrupts Service

August 26, 2020 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Grandma Plett, 81, of Linden Menno Manor, recently discovered a handy new Bible app on her iPhone. The app features large print and the ability to have Morgan Freeman read the Bible aloud […]

Unger Suspicion

“Fearless” Man Refuses to Wear a Mask But Absolutely Petrified to Enter a Grocery Store Without His Gun

August 25, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Janzen, 41, of Seminole, laughs every time he sees those “sheeple” wearing their silly masks all over the place. Janzen is a very brave man who trusts only in the Lord and […]

Unger Suspicion

Paris Woman Suddenly Realizes She Actually Likes Tourists

August 24, 2020 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE After six months of nearly empty streets in her home town, Juliette Martin, 31, of Paris, France has decided that if the tourists ever come back she’s going to be nice to them […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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