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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Lisa LaFlamme Offered Job at The Daily Bonnet

August 17, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON After being unceremoniously fired this week, former CTV news anchor Lisa LaFlamme has been offered a job hosting a new 11 o’clock Daily Bonnet broadcast which promises, for the very first time, to […]

Unger & Thirst

7-11 Introduces New ‘Mennonite Slurpee’

August 16, 2022 Andrew

ROSENGART, MB The yerba mate will be flowing like frozen Papsi this summer, as more than a dozen 7-11 stores in the Pembina Valley darpa will be offering a new product known as the ‘Mennonite […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Bureau of Investigations Raids Indiana Mansion

August 14, 2022 Andrew

ELKHART, IN More than a dozen buggies full of angry-looking Mennonites pulled up at the Elkhart, Indiana mansion of former General Mennonite Brethren Conference USA moderator, Donald J. Troyer, this week. “The MBI has credible […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Pours Bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Just to Drink the Milk Afterwards

August 13, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Area woman Erin Heinrichs, 41, poured herself a nice bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch this morning and quickly wolfed down the cereal so she could get to that delicious milk left afterwards. “Ahh, […]

Unger Suspicion

Typo Turns Book Signing into Impromptu Musical Performance

August 12, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A minor clerical error turned out to be not so minor for author Andrew Unger this weekend, as he was forced to pick up a microphone and belt out classic country songs to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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