5 Times The Daily Bonnet Accurately Predicted the Future

We all know about that other Mennonite satirist, Matt Groening, and his uncanny ability to predict the future on his television show The Simpsons, but did you know that The Daily Bonnet has accurately predicted the future as well? It must be a Mennonite thing, because this is uncanny. Check it out!

(click on the headlines to re-read the original articles)

5) Steinbachers to Vote on Whether to Legalize Romaine Lettuce (November 2018) This articles spoofs Steinbach’s penchant for having referendums on anything and everything, including romaine lettuce. Oddly enough, however, due to the skyrocketing price of romaine lettuce as of late, I’ve seen many Steinbach restaurants take it off the menu. Coincidence? I think not!

4) Patriots Release Tom Brady to Pursue CFL Opportunities (January 2020)

I’m a big CFL fan. (Go Bombers!) At the time I wrote this article, I was just parodying the frequent headlines about CFL players being released to try out in the NFL. This article is just the reverse of that and it went viral when it was published. Yesterday, however, I read that real life Tom Brady recently commented, perhaps in jest, that he’d like to play in the CFL. Did he read my article or is The Daily Bonnet predicting the future yet again?

3) Canada-Wide Rogers Golden Syrup Outage Stretches on for Hours (April 2021)

The original article from spring 2021 was a parody of a relatively minor Rogers cell phone outage in Canada. In July 2022, however, when the big one hit, I didn’t even have to write another article; I could just repost this one – if I could access the Internet that is.

2) Mennonite Man Becomes First to Get Blue Checkmark on Genealogy Website (November 2022)

A self-fulfilling prophesy, perhaps, but a prophesy nonetheless. Last week I spoofed the whole blue checkmark fiasco over at Twitter by saying that I, Andrew Unger, became the first person to get blue checkmark certification on the Mennonite genealogy website Grandma Online. Well, when I logged on today, I was shocked to discover that I did indeed have a checkmark next to my name. You can confirm this for yourself if you don’t believe me.

1) Court Rules that Mennonites Are Allowed to Keep Their Masks on in the Liquor Store (May 2016)

This joke from 2016 just spoofs the desire by closet-drinking Mennonites to remain anonymous. When the pandemic struck in 2020, Mennonites and others alike, really were wearing masks in the liquor store. Okay, well maybe not in Winkler.

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