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prophet

The Daily Bonnet

5 Times The Daily Bonnet Accurately Predicted the Future

November 16, 2022 Andrew

We all know about that other Mennonite satirist, Matt Groening, and his uncanny ability to predict the future on his television show The Simpsons, but did you know that The Daily Bonnet has accurately predicted […]

Unger Suspicion

Nostradamus Eerily Predicts the End of Twitter

November 15, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA For centuries French astrologer Nostradamus has been duping the gullible and/or intoxicated into believing his 16th centuries delusional ramblings had some predictive power. Well, it seems even the fall of Twitter has […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Claims ‘Prophetic Gift’ After Predicting Rain this May Long Weekend

May 21, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Andrew R. Penner has declared himself a prophet of God after he accurately predicted there would be heavy rain this Victoria Day long weekend. “See, look, I told you so,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Prophet Turns Wine Into Water

May 12, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Self-proclaimed miracle worker and sage Peter P. Peters wowed attendees at a Mennonite family gathering this past week by turning all of the wine into water. “I’d never seen anything like it,” said Abram […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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