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Month: June 2023

Unger Conviction

Southern Baptists Aim to Have More Dysfunctional Infighting than the Mennonites by 2024

June 19, 2023 Andrew

AUGUSTA, GA After their recent annual meeting in which they expelled a couple churches for petty reasons, the Southern Baptist Convention is well on its way to being more dysfunctional than the Mennonites by early […]

Unger Conviction

Southern Baptists Expel Rick Warren for Floral-Patterned Shirt and Lack of Necktie

June 18, 2023 Andrew

LAKE FOREST, CA The Southern Baptist Convention voted overwhelmingly this week to expel Rick Warren from the denomination due to his liberal position regarding appropriate pastoral attire. “I’ve never seen that man with a necktie,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Angry Americans Protest Wildfire Smoke that’s “Illegally” Crossing into the US from Canada

June 16, 2023 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY There was a massive demonstration in Manhattan this week as between five and seven people showed up to protest the wildfire smoke that’s been illegally crossing the border in the last couple […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Mennonite Satire Headlines Written by ChatGPT

June 15, 2023 Andrew

So a couple days ago we had ChatGPT write headlines for Steinbach Online. Today we told it write some in the style of the Unger Review/Daily Bonnet. Unfortunately, these don’t seem any more amusing than […]

Unger Games

Toronto Maple Leafs Announce Plans to Relocate to Las Vegas

June 13, 2023 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV After decades without a Stanley Cup, the Toronto Maple Leafs have finally come up with a plan that will guarantee them a victory in the near future – moving to Las Vegas. […]

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