NEW YORK, NY
There was a massive demonstration in Manhattan this week as between five and seven people showed up to protest the wildfire smoke that’s been illegally crossing the border in the last couple weeks.
“We’re here in solidarity with the good hard-working Americans who take their health seriously,” said Mr. Appleton, who finished off a carton of Camels during the interview. “Smoke is coming over illegally and it’s about time we put a stop to it! Build the wall! Build the wall!”
The group is demanding that any smoke that wishes to cross the border should stop and present ID at an official border crossing.
“We’ve got to know exactly what kind of smoke is crossing our border,” said Appleton. “We all know the type of smoke that comes from Montreal and it’s nothing we want in our wholesome country!”
The protest went on for a good fifteen minutes or so before the group, exhausted and tired, stopped to take a KFC break.
“This is our land and we should decide the smoke that comes in and out of the country,” Appleton said. “You don’t see me going to Canada and fouling up the air!”
This statement was disputed, however, as Mrs. Appleton was quick to remind her husband about that embarrassing incident a few years earlier at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival after Mr. Appleton had consumed a bit too much dairy.