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Month: June 2023

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Rejoice as NHL Finally Bans Military Appreciation Jerseys

June 24, 2023 Andrew

GERMANTOWN, PA “I used to be a big NHL fan until they were putting all this military stuff in my face,” says Mr. Shenk of Germantown. “If you’re into that, fine, but I don’t need […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

June 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB When word got out that Nickelback was in town, thousands of Mennonites flocked to the arena in Winnipeg this week to collect their refund. “I heard this is the place to get my […]

The Daily Bonnet

Swift Current Residents Furious at Taylor Swift for Leaving Their City Off Her 2023 Tour

June 22, 2023 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Residents of Swift Current, Saskatchewan, population 16,750, are fuming mad this week after it was revealed that pop superstar Taylor Swift had left their community off her worldwide tour. “What an insult […]

Unger the Influence

Maxime Bernier Spotted Sobbing Outside ‘Winners’ Store

June 21, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Maxime Bernie was spotted curled up in a ball and sobbing outside a Winners store in Winnipeg, Manitoba this week. “He told me to pull over as soon as he saw the sign.” […]

Unger & Thirst

Billionaires Rescued from Meatball Sub

June 21, 2023 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB The fate of highly successful flax farmer Darren Klassen and his billionaire farmer buddies hangs in the balance at a southern Manitoba sandwich shop this afternoon. “Will he risk it with the meatball […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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