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Month: April 2022

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Has Three Sisters Named Helen and Four Brothers Named Jake

April 20, 2022 Andrew

WYMARK, SK Local woman, Mrs. Letkeman was paging through her photo album this afternoon when it dawned on her that she had three sisters named Helen and four brothers named Jake. “Not to mention two […]

Unger Conviction

C & E Christian Skips E this Year

April 19, 2022 Andrew

AKRON, PA Proud C & E Christians Eleanor and Earl Lapp of Akron decided to skip E this year, thus reducing their status to C Christians. “When we first got married we were C, E, […]

Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Offers Free Cybertruck to Any Left-wingers Willing to Stay on Twitter

April 18, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Left-of-centre Twitter users have threatened to leave the platform en masse if the Elon Musk takeover goes through. In an effort to placate the angry crowd, Musk has offered users a free […]

Unger & Thirst

Hundreds of Horrified Mennonites Served ‘Pasta’ for Easter Sunday after Kitchen Mixup

April 17, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Hundreds of Groenings, Kliewers, and Olferts were looking forward to a delicious serving of lemony buns with sweet icing this Sunday afternoon. However, a mishap in the kitchen resulted in the serving […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child Wondering Why We’re Singing All These Songs About Calgary this Time of Year

April 16, 2022 Andrew

OSLER, SK Easter is a confusing time for Mennonite children across the Canadian prairies as, for some reason, we’re all singing songs about Calgary, Alberta again. One such affected child is little Lisa Braun, 9, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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