Hundreds of Horrified Mennonites Served ‘Pasta’ for Easter Sunday after Kitchen Mixup


Hundreds of Groenings, Kliewers, and Olferts were looking forward to a delicious serving of lemony buns with sweet icing this Sunday afternoon. However, a mishap in the kitchen resulted in the serving of more than 200 plates of spaghetti instead.

“I’m not sure how it happened. I clearly said ‘paska. We’re making paska,”” explained EMB kitchen co-ordinator Doris Martens. “Somehow the word got around that we were serving up spaghetti with meat sauce.”

Busy kitchen workers slopped a heap of pasta onto each plate and rushed it out to the gymnasium for the final course of the Swift Current EMB Easter Sunday faspa.

“I’ve never been so disappointed with an Easter paska in all my life,” said diner Harold Fast. “The worst thing is, we didn’t even have a spoon to swirl the spaghetti. All I had was a few sachets of Sweet N’ Low and a couple empty creamers.”

Mr. Fast made do with a stir stick and begrudgingly consumed his Easter pasta.

“I sure hope this doesn’t become a tradition around here,” said Fast. “Pasta on Easter Sunday? Seems like my Mennonite church is becoming more Catholic all the time.”

The Swift Current EMB church has apologized for the mishap and plans to serve real paska every Sunday afternoon from now on or at least until roll kuchen and watermelon season.

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