The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: February 2021

Unger & Thirst

Niagara Mennonites Vote to Im-Peach Pastor Dave

February 8, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON While Mennonites in other parts of the world commission new pastors through ordination, laying on of hands, or rebaptizing the ones who didn’t get it done properly, the Mennonites of the Niagara […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Takes Home the Super Bowl

February 7, 2021 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Mrs. Esther Friesen, 82, of Newton, Kansas managed to sneak into the church kitchen this Sunday and grab the 1970s Tupperware bowl that she’d left there before the pandemic began last year. “I’m […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Naughty Mennonite Emojis (and What They Really Mean)

February 6, 2021 Andrew

These days you have to be careful when you’re using emojis. You don’t want to unintentionally seduce the pastor’s son. In order to aid clear and concise communication, the Daily Bonnet has created this handy […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Officials Worried About Potential Koop D’Etat

February 5, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After recent takeover attempts in Mynamar and Washington, government officials in Winkler are concerned about a potential Koop d’etat in their neck of the woods, too. “Those Koops. Always unsatisfied with the democractic […]

Unger Games

Calgary Defeats Winnipeg 5 Bogus Slashing Calls to 3

February 4, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB In an effort to get more pacifists watching the game, the NHL has imposed a new minimum of five bogus slashing calls per game. “The team with the fewest bogus slashing calls wins,” […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 4 5 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Rumours Fly as Mennonite Man is Spotted at Jewelry Store
    April 13, 2024
  • Entire City of Steinbach Stymied by Globe and Mail Paywall
    March 12, 2023
  • Man Takes ‘Naked Anabaptist’ Far Too Literally
    June 11, 2017
  • Mexican Mennonite Purchases Snowmobile, Prays for White Christmas
    December 15, 2018
  • Winkler Welcomes the Return of Legendary 60s Folk Duo ‘Peter Pauls and Mary’
    August 1, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved