Wonder Oil Prices Close in the Negative for First Time in History


When the bell rang to end trading at the Winker Wonder Oil Exchange on Monday afternoon, Mrs. Schellenberg and the others stood in disbelief.

“I was in shock! Minus thirty-eight dollars for a barrel of Wonder Oil?” said a devastated Mrs. Schellenberg. “You couldn’t even give the stuff away.”

Wonder Oil futures have taken a beating as of late as Mennonites have cut back on their consumption of the marvellous healing liquid.

“Plus I hear the Jantsieders are cutting back production,” said Mrs. Schellenberg. “Typical Kleefelders, always trying to mess with our Wonder Oil prices.”

Luckily for Mrs. Schellenberg the prices bounced back on Tuesday.

“It’s a relief because I didn’t have room in my garage to store all that stuff,” said Mrs. Schellenberg. “Plus the Pletts and Petkaus were starting to complain the whole neighborhood smelled like cloves and menthol. No one had any back pain, though, so that was good.”

Mrs. Schellenberg has long been known as the Wonder Oil Baron of Winker and as trading returns to normal, it seems she’ll be able to maintain that position into the foreseeable future, or at least until some MBer from Boissevain encroaches on her territory and undercuts her prices.

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