GOSHEN, IN
The Yoder family of Goshen is just one of dozens of Mennonite families who found themselves in the midst of the largest Sunday school admissions scandal in Mennonite church history. From 2015-2018, the Yoders allegedly paid the Sunday school co-ordinator a total of $63,000 and a year’s supply of pickled sausage to ensure that their daughter Alice would get into Mrs. Borntreger’s class rather than the much inferior class taught by Mrs. Nussbaum.
“It’s well worth the money,” said Mrs. Yoder. “Mrs. Borntreger’s flannelgraph skills are unrivalled in all of Elkhart County! Plus her sword drills are much more rigorous.”
The scandal has shook the Mennonite community to the core, with many wondering just how their local Sunday schools will reclaim their legitimacy and respect.
“It’s sad to see this kind of thing happening,” said Pastor Dan. “But it’s inevitable given human nature and the competitive dog-eat-dog world of children’s ministry these days.”
Little Alice is now in second grade, but some are calling for all her Sunday school transcripts to be questioned.
“Do we really know those four gold stars she got for her macaroni art are legitimate?” wondered one observer. “If it were up to me, we’d make her go back and start all over again with the kindergarten Sunday school class.”
However, not wanting to punish the child for the wrong-doings of the parents, Alice will be allowed to advance to the grade three Sunday school class, although it’s very likely she’ll be put into Mrs. Sprunger’s class and absolutely nobody wants that.
