Tucker Carlson Admits He’s Just Been Doing Really Shoddy Satire for the Past 20 Years


After expressing his undying love and devotion for everyone from Alex Jones to Vladimir Putin, American political commentator Tucker Carlson has finally acknowledged he’s just been trolling everyone for the past couple decades.

“I thought it was obvious,” said Carlson. “The fact that millions of people took me seriously has always baffled me but, hey, you just go with the flow, am I right?”

Carlson, who recently claimed far right conspiracy nut Alex Jones had supernatural prophetic powers, now claims he was “just kidding, no cap.”

“Oh and my trip to Russia where I was mesmerized by shopping carts?” said Carlson. “Well I was just rehearsing for my upcoming sketch comedy special. I’m sorry that wasn’t clear.”

Carlson admits he needs to do better in letting people know when he’s just “doing a bit,” but says the public also need to educate themselves.

“There are a lot of people out there who can’t tell real news from satire,” said Carlson. “I mean, I’m sure there will some folks who will read all the way to the end of this article and still think it’s real.”

Email correspondence to The Unger Review, confirms that there already are at least a couple dozen people who think this is a real article.

(photo credit: Gage Skidmore/CC)

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