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The Daily Bonnet

Concerning New Mennonite Workplace Trend: Quiet Quilting

April 2, 2023 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON It’s called “Quiet Quilting” and it’s a concerning new workplace trend, as increasing numbers of Mennonites in offices and shops across the country are discreetly stitching away at their quilts during the workday. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wears Steel Toe Boots to Church

December 19, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB In an abundance of caution, Mr. Plett has taken to wearing his steel toe boots everywhere he goes, including church. “I’m a Mennonite, so of course I don’t care about safety recommendations,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man to Corner You at the Water Cooler Tomorrow Morning and Tell You All About the Latest Joe Rogan Podcast

October 17, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area man Jeremy Goertzen is really pumped about something he heard on Joe Rogan recently and is now planning to find you at the water cooler tomorrow morning and tell you all about […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Sunday School Class to Discuss Ethics of Doing ‘Cash Jobs’

August 6, 2022 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The Eastside Grunthal MCB church will be discussing the ethics of dudes doing jobs for cash in the Sunday morning adult Sunday school class. “Okay, so Garth over there offered to give me […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Refuses to Clean Up Dishes Until He Gets Meeting with Prime Minister

February 21, 2022 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON The dishes are really piling up at the Peters house this week after Clint Peters, 57, of St. Catharines staged a one-man protest and refused to do any chores until Justin Trudeau […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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