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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wakes Up Bright and Early to Get in a Full Day of Quality Puttering

April 10, 2025 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Retired cheesemaker Earl Froese, 71, got up bright and early this morning, not wanting to waste a single moment. “I’ve got a full day ahead of me,” said Froese. “There’s a lot […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man’s Entire Job Consists of Deleting Stupid Irrelevant Emails

June 10, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB 100% of area man Jeremy Goertzen’s 9 to 5 office job consists of looking through his emails and deleting all the crap. “I don’t do anything else,” said Goertzen, from his Calgary-area office […]

The Daily Bonnet

Long Lost Mennonite Man Discovered Puttering in the Garage

February 25, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Almost three decades after Art Wiens went missing back in 1996, he was found to be puttering in the garage of his North Kildonan home. “I don’t know why I never thought of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends All Day at Hardware Store Trying to Find the Wood Stretcher

August 25, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Abe Epp, Rosthern’s most respected schekjbenjel, spend more than 8 hours at the Home Depot there in Saskatoon trying to find the wood stretcher. “Diewel, I tried the lumber department and nothing. Then […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loves His New Mobile Office

July 18, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Local tomato grower Jake Martens of Leamington is really excited about his new mobile office that he picked up at the Ford dealership early this week. “I was tired of holding all my […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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