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winter

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis Trying to Figure Out When to Throw Out the Christmas Cards

January 11, 2024 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS It’s mid-January and that means Mrs. Brandt is beginning to think about taking down the Christmas cards from her refrigerator. “I think it’s time, but then again, I feel kind of bad. We’ve […]

Unger Suspicion

Counting Crows Launch New Fragrance ‘The Smell of Hospitals in Winter’

December 27, 2023 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA 90s rockers Counting Crows have finally released a fragrance befitting their 1996 hit song “A Long December.” “For almost 30 years, our fans have wondered about the ‘smell of hospitals in winter’ […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Wearing North Face Jacket Forced to Walk Backwards Everywhere

December 21, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Area man Garth Bergen, 41, has discovered that ever since he bought that North Face jacket this fall, he can’t help himself but walk backwards everywhere. “I don’t know what it is,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Snowfall Finally Convinces Manitobans They Don’t Actually Live in BC

December 12, 2023 Andrew

CARMAN, MB Derek Loeppky of Carman, who had been living it up like a British Columbian for the past several months, was absolutely devastated this weekend to find out he actually lived in Manitoba. “There […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Fined for Obstructed View; Everyone Thinks It’s Satire

November 22, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB When Steinbach Online reported earlier today about a local man who was stopped by the RCMP this week for driving with his entire windshield covered in snow, everyone thought they were just reading […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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