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winter

Unger Suspicion

An Exclusive Interview with the Notorious ‘Alberta Clipper’

February 12, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB After years of secrecy, the infamous ‘Alberta Clipper’ has agreed to this exclusive interview with the Daily Bonnet. We met Mr. Friesen in his home in Taber to ask him about why he […]

The Daily Bonnet

General Conference and Mennonite Brethren Form Joint Olympic Team

February 9, 2018 Andrew

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA For the first time since the great schism of 1860, the General Conference and Mennonite Brethren will compete together in the Olympics under a unified flag. The United Mennonite Team is seen […]

The Daily Bonnet

Bump of Packed Down Snow at the End of Mr. Penner’s Driveway Declared Manitoba’s Highest Peak

February 7, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A one foot tall mound of packed down snow on Mr. Penner’s driveway has been officially declared the tallest mountain in Manitoba. “Move over Baldy Mountain, my driveway is king now!” said a […]

Unger Games

Falling on Your Ass Only Known Way to Stop While Skating

February 7, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After centuries of skating, Canadians have mastered the art of maneuvering their bodies at high speeds on sheets of ice, but scientists are baffled by the fact that not a single one of […]

Unger & Thirst

Top Local Chefs to Stage Fancy Dinner on Frozen Blumenort Lagoon

January 19, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Manitoba’s most famous chefs will be setting aside the comforts of high-end Winnipeg restaurants this winter for a three week pop-up restaurant on the frozen Blumenort lagoon. ‘COOKED: Blumenort’ will feature all the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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